I'm a mother of two, a feminist, and a wanna-be artist/writer. My first child (age 8) was easy but having my second (age 1) has been much harder on me emotionally. Through my recent readings I've discovered that I'm not the only only who is dazed by mommyhood. I'm currently reading Stunned by Karen Bridson and I've come to realize that I'm angry too.
My son was an unexpected surprise. I was 24, a college drop out, working as a waitress, and got "knocked up" by a guy I was working with. Yes it was a bad situation but I took it on. The dad stayed in the picture (cause he IS a good guy) but we were never really good together and seperated shortly after I went back to college when our son was three. I graduated three years later with a Bachelor of Arts. My majors were Psychology and Integrative Arts with a minor in Women's Studies. While back in school I got married to my high school sweetheart and then found out I was pregnant a few months after we got married. So yes, life was insane for a while. I literally received my diploma one month before my daughter was born and "choose" not to pursue either graduate school or a job right away because I wanted to focus on my daughter.
Now I wonder if I made this choice or if "my conditon" made the choice for me. Now I'm ready to rejoin the real world and I've discovered that it is not so easy the second time around. I have retained the part time job I've had since 2003 as a Domestic Violence Counselor (I was full time for 14 months) and applied for a full time job at that location that would have been perfect for me. It came down to me and another in-house candidate. She got the job and I got depressed.
With the cost of daycare and the need for a flexible schedule I have realized that going back to work isn't as simple as just dropping my resume off and having an interview. I am 32 and have a multitude of responsibilities that an employer won't care about. I also need to be making a certain payscale to offset the cost of paying others to watch my children. On the other side of the coin I currently am not getting anywhere by working one overnight shift a week at my current job and increasing hours is not an option. I need to bring in more money as my personal debt from going back to school is being maintained but not depreciating.
I'm frustrated as it seems these are my concerns and issues as a mother and a woman but our society isn't seeing the benefits that having someone like myself can provide. I am a hard worker and dedicated employee but I don't even know where to start with this job search especially in the current economic climate.
